I'm here today, expect it to stay on, and on, and on

Waltz #2 (live, video) ~ Elliott Smith

"Tell Mr. Man with impossible plans,
to just leave me alone.
In the place where I make no mistakes,
in the place where I have what it takes.

I'm never gonna know you now,
but I'm gonna love you anyhow."

One-two-three, one-two-three, one-two-three. The rhythm of the waltz, the predictable movement; you expect it, you see it coming, and you keep going - whether you mean to, or not. Something keeps pulling your legs this way, your feet that way, and your arms embrace the form in front of you - but he has turned translucent, disappearing into thin air, becoming something faded and imaginary.

The images fade, just as the memories begin to; or maybe I just tell myself they are leaving because I cannot take the sting of those moments being nothing now except for a rememberance.

I woke this morning heavy with melancholy. The sunlight through the blinds causing me to squint before I've even open my eyes fully. Somehow I've turned toward the window in my sleep, something I usually do not do, I note.

Was I dreaming of those moments not so long ago? interlocking fingers, conversations whispered in a room where so little light streamed in. We were both a little lost in the dark, or I guess we hid there - not that I ever wanted to be hidden.

Now I'm left with nothing to hold but consoling words and the same explanations. All I have left are my memories. Whatever and ever, right? You never meant me any harm. So why does it hurt so much then? I think I'd rather just let it all fade to grey, to cloudy skies, to a place where I can feel good again.

"I'm so glad that my memory's remote,
'cos I'm doing just fine hour to hour, note to note.
Here it is, the revenge to the tune,
you're no good, you're no good, you're no good, you're no good.
Can't you tell that it's well understood?"

L.